We had to fill out a roommate agreement form, and we had trouble taking it seriously. Here were our responses:
We agree to the following regarding overnight guests (how often, how many, gender, giving advance warning, etc.):
Christina: Open door policy— guests on either end and of any gender may come and go as they please. Warning the other roommate is optional. If one roommate eschews the practice of warning the other that we shall have company, however, then ruthlessly teasing said unexpected guests is fair game.
Erin: Open door policy. Warning the other roommate is optional. However, the other roommate reserves the right to annoy the guest in this circumstance.
We agree to communicate regularly with each other by:
Christina: Telepath— we talk all the time. We agree to speak up when something annoys us, as we have in the past. Usually we can tell when the other’s upset.
Erin: Talking things through or playing a rousing game of interpretive and representational charades.
If there is a conflict between roommates, we agree to resolve it by:
Christina: Passive aggression until we get over it. Occasionally a long and heartfelt talk… with crying. Lots of crying.
Erin: Passive aggressive comments until the other one gets the hint.
We expect the following behaviors from roommates:
Christina: Be human. No overt maliciousness.
Erin: Toleration of an X-Files obsession. Also occasional fencing matches.
How often would you clean the bathroom? Who is responsible? Who buys the cleaning supplies?
Who will be responsible for taking trash to the dumpster? How often will you empty the trash?
Christina: Whoever gets annoyed by it first. Just empty it when it’s full.
Erin: The little gnome who lives in our cupboards. His duties are on a weekly basis.
Can your Room/Suite mate use your cleaning supplies? Also, who will be responsible for buying more? What will be shared? Do your roommates need to ask?
Christina: Share and share alike in here.
Erin: Sharing toothbrushes is a given. The gnome has grocery duties (don’t worry, he has a people costume).
What is the main purpose of the living room? How often will it be cleaned and whose responsibility is it to do so?
Erin: We don’t have a living room.
At what temperature will you keep the apartment? When is it okay for someone to change the temperature? Will you keep any windows open? Will you consult each other before changing the temperature?
Christina: Whatever temperature it happens to be— lets face it we have no control.
Erin: That depends… how hot are the pits of Hell?
When do you go to sleep and get up on weekdays and the weekend? Are you a light or heavy sleeper? What is and is not okay for Room/Suite mate to do while someone is asleep?
Christina: Just don’t be loud if the other is sleeping— use the lamp not the overhead light.
Erin: I go to sleep whenever the hell I want to and so does she. No mariachi bands may be hired while the other is sleeping.
What is a reasonable volume for music, television or video games? Are there times you would like the noise level kept to a minimum?
Christina: N/A. No T.V.
Erin: Everything must be kept at a whisper-level so as not to disturb the lost demon soul living under our carpet.
Do you need a completely quiet environment in which to study, or is some noise okay? Please be detalied as possible.
Christina: No. If we want quiet to study we’ll leave.
Erin: Again, we must not disturb the lost demon soul.
How and when will the apartment (both bedroom and common space) be used for socializing?
Christina: If we get a friend we’re lucky.
Will alcohol be possessed or consumed in our apartment? How will we handle underage consumption of alcohol by roommate(s) and/or guest(s)?
Christina: Pff… nobody drinks in a substance free dorm.
Erin: The only kind of alcohol consumption is underage consumption.Anything Extra for room/suite-mates who share areas? For example: Student in room A would like the lights kept on in the bathroom for A & B at night.Christina: No Scully posters directly above my bed.Erin: If I am not having an existential crisis and she is, I ask that she simply not draw me into one.
|Men:||If Orange is the New Black is so good with representation, why are all the men horrible?|
|Women:||They're not all horrible. Bennett's nice. What more do you want?|
|Men:||But he's clueless and irresponsible! And that's just ONE guy! How can you give me ONE decent male character in a slew of diverse female characters and call THAT representation?|
|Women:||...must be tough.|
|high school teacher:||yeah i have a 4 year degree so you can call me Mr. Whatshisname and if you call me Frank that's disrespectful I'll give you detention for a week|
|college professor:||hi i've got my Ph.D., i spent 10 years doing research, i have 7 patents and 26 published papers, and i was nationally recognized for my work. but you can call me Kim if you want.|
Guess who got to meet Laverne Cox? She spoke on being a black transgender woman at our university! I’m the one second from the right in the pink.
She’s even more beautiful in person, if you can believe it.
i want this to be me when she comes to my school <3 <3 <3 <3
hotels can’t be boring to me
they’re just fun
even if i’m sitting in the room watching tv or riding the elevator or sleeping it’s just fun for some reason like they’re average every day things but in a hotel everything is way more amusing and interesting and just simply being in a hotel is fun to me and i don’t understand